Consequences: Epilogue

Hawke stared down at Anders' back. The apostate sat in silent misery, his head bowed. Bodies lay scattered around them, and the rest of the companions stood off to one side – but there was silence around Anders. He was very slightly rocking, his eyes staring sightlessly.

Hawke stared down at him, trying to fathom how they had all come to that point. He glanced over to Fenris, whose eyes held the same confusion and bewilderment. Neither of them had ever guessed what Anders had planned. Three years together, and yet they could never have dreamed he would do something this desperate.

Fenris stared at the mage, who seemed oblivious to all around him. He had seen men look like this before; it was all too familiar to one who had been a slave. Anders had given up living and resigned himself to death; he was merely marking time until then. He closed his eyes briefly against a stab of pain. Anders wanted to die. He flexed a hand uselessly, feeling the lyrium flow beneath his skin.

If Anders asked, he would grant him a merciful death. It was the least he could do to relieve the torment he must be feeling.

He remembered a day, three years ago, when he had held his hand within Anders' chest, the mage's heart fluttering in his chest, when he had mentally wrestled with his conscience. He could have taken Anders' life then and given him surcease from his pain and struggles, freeing him from the demon residing within his flesh. He had thought at the time that it was mercy and love that stayed his hand, but maybe it had only been his own selfish desire.

He glanced back to Hawke. If Hawke would not give Anders the release he desired, then he, Fenris, would do it. He owed that much to Anders.

Hawke stared down at the mage. The man sitting in front of him wasn't the man he thought he knew. The bowed back may as well have belonged to a stranger. He shook his head, bewilderment writ large on his face as he tried to understand; tried to grasp what on earth could be going through Anders' head right at that moment. Was it even Anders in there any more?

Anders seemed to slowly come back into himself. "There's nothing you can say that I haven't already said to myself," he said with a faint sigh. "Vengeance... took me over. There was nothing I could do to stop him." He stared down, twisting his fingers uselessly in the palm of his hand. "I made my friend a demon," he said quietly. "And he did this."  His voice shook.

"Do not hide behind your spirit!" growled Sebastian. "It was your hand that did this!" The ice-blue eyes bored with fury into the mage. Anders lowered his head.

"Kill me now," he said quietly. "Before there is nothing left of me." He closed his eyes.

Hawke shook his head, still trying to understand. "I know you would have changed it if you could," he said, his tone begging Anders to confirm his words. "I might have understood... if you'd told me," he added quietly.

Anders shook his head. "But I have proven I cannot," he replied. "If I couldn't control Vengeance now, I never will." Softly he added, "I need to die."

Fenris closed his eyes briefly in pain. He was right. Anders was begging for death. Grant it to him, Hawke, he thought silently. End his pain.

"You should have done this long ago," Anders continued. "For what it's worth... I'm glad it's you." He smiled sadly. "It was nice to be happy... for a while."

Hawke looked to the others, silently pleading for help. Sebastian sneered, but Isabela looked sympathetic. Hawke flicked his glance to Fenris.

The elf straightened, having eyes only for his lover. An expression of sadness crossed his face, but his tone was neutral, almost resigned. "He wants to die. Kill him and be done with it." Hawke's eyes widened, but then he saw a faint glimmer of tears in the green eyes as the hard gaze softened, and Hawke understood. Fenris could not ease his lover's pain; he did not know how. He wanted Anders to be at peace. He truly thought this was the only way.

It can't be. He turned back to Anders, whose shoulders had slumped in resignation to his fate.

No! It can't end like this!

"He should come with us. Do what he can to put things right." Merrill's voice rang out across the courtyard. Anders' head jerked up as he opened his eyes, frowning a little. Fenris held his breath.

"Whatever you do, just do it," said Anders. His shoulders tensed.

He expects the blade.

Hawke stared down at his lover, then glanced back to Fenris, lifting an eyebrow. Back me up, his eyes seemed to plead. Fenris' eyes widened as he realised what Hawke was about to say, and then he nodded his head.

"Help me defend the mages," he told Anders.

The apostate jerked, eyes widening in surprise as the words sunk in. He pushed himself up to his feet and turned to face Hawke. "You mean... stay with you?" he asked, his tone one of wonder and disbelief.

"No! You cannot let this abomination walk free!" objected Sebastian. Fenris' hands twitched as the archer brushed past him, advancing on the warrior. The elf snarled and took a step after Sebastian but Varric laid a hand on his arm and shook his head as Hawke and Sebastian began to argue. Fenris glared down at the dwarf, who jerked his head in Anders' direction.

"Uh-uh, elf. Look at Blondie," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth. Fenris looked up.

Anders was staring at Hawke, open-mouthed as the warrior stared down the Prince. He flinched at Sebastian's venomous invective, but Hawke tossed it aside as though each one of the archer's threats were only so much hot air and not a promise of agony and death for the slender apostate. Anders glanced over to Fenris, and the elf nodded slowly, reassuringly.

Whatever happens, I am with you, Beloved. Sebastian will have to get past both Hawke and myself first.

Anders stared up into the grey clouds overhead as Sebastian stormed away angrily, oblivious to the faint sneer the elf aimed in his direction as he passed. "Don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out," murmured Isabela wryly.

Anders took a deep breath. He was being given another chance. He didn't understand why... but neither Hawke nor Fenris were going to let him go.

Another chance.

Hawke held out his hand to Anders, who lowered his gaze and nodded, stepping forward. Hawke's arm swung comfortably round his shoulders, giving the feathered shoulder a squeeze as they walked together back towards the others. Fenris reached out and cradled the back of Anders' head with a razor-taloned hand and brought the mage's head close ho his, kissing him fiercely in a clash of tongues and teeth before pulling away.

"We will not lose you so easily as that, mage," he promised Anders quietly.

"Whatever happens, we will face it together," agreed Hawke.

"So let's get this party started shall we?" suggested Isabela cheerfully. Hawke nodded and Fenris swung into stride on Anders' other side.

"Happy?" asked Merrill as they strode down the street. Anders grinned fiercely as Hawke and Fenris both grinned ferally in answer.

"Ecstatic," replied the mage.

The battle for freedom had begun, and soon all of Thedas would ring with war.